What if I were.....................

If I were the head coach of a 2A Volleyball team about to play it's second playoff game in 2 years what would I say?

First off I would probably say "Great Job Ladies!", but you have only just begun your journey. Everything that has happened up to this point, while great and record-setting, matters not in this world. Everyone is 0-0. Rankings don't matter, past rivalries don't matter, what happened yesterday doesn't matter. Bad practices don't matter, great practices don't matter. 25-10 wins don't matter. Neither do 25-10 losses. However you got here, you are here. It does not matter who is on the other side of the court from us.

The only thing that does matter, is 12 athletes playing as 1 TEAM. The Six that are on that court at any given time, playing as 1. It does not matter what happens outside the gym doors or outside the lines. What matters is everyone knowing what their job is and JUST DOING IT. Not someone else's job, just YOUR job. It is a very simple game when you just do your job. Rotate where you are supposed to Rotate, Dig what you are supposed to Dig, Block what you are supposed to Block, KILL what you are supposed to kill. Everyone knows what they are supposed to do at this point, JUST DO IT. Don't think about it, just let your god-given and coach driven instincts take over and DO IT! Don't let the moment define you, YOU DEFINE THE MOMENT! Let's have fun and go kick some Lady Indian ass! or whatever team that particular 2A Volleyball program might be facing at Abilene High School, Tuesday, November 9th @ 6:30 p.m.

Love all of you guys!

ASOD from 2-25-08.

Gamarjobat!!
The Last ASOD’s greeting on 1-7-08, Merhaba, was in Turkish. Again…congrats to nobody!

The above line has been sitting in my DRAFTS folder since 1-8-08, I have heard a few annoying songs since then, but not a topic that really annoyed me. So rather than compromise my greatness for the sake of merely having an ASOD, I decided to wait until the mood struck me! It actually struck me last Wednesday night whilst I was at the Super S in Comfort, TX. I guess the fact that they are the ONLY grocery store in 20 miles gives them free license to charge WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT!!! DAMNIT. I go in there to buy some Milk, some Cereal and a pack of tortillas for dinner that night. Footnote: all of this was not for dinner that night, just the tortillas were. But if this were the DUGAN household Cereal for Breakfast, Lunch AND Dinner is par for the course! So, figure $4 for Milk, $3.50 for cereal and $1.50 for a dozen tortillas right? Even $1.50 is freaking pushing it since my mom can make 2 dozen in like 5 minutes out of crap I did not even knew we HAD in our kitchen! I knew I was in trouble when there was not even a price listed for the damn tortillas! So I get to the check out and when given the total of $12.64, I say(to myself) WTF!, $12 friggin 64!!! But, just like the great 24 oz vs. 20 oz coffee incident of early January..I say nothing and just pay for it………..So I get out to the car and look at the receipt….$3.97..for TORTILLAS!!! WTF! I guess theses tortillas from RICARDOS TORILLERIA in Brownwood, TX were made with flakes of real gold! Sincerely…..how is that even possible? They were not Gourmet Tortillas, they were not Pre-Buttered tortillas, just big, misshapen ovals of lard and flour! I had been hood-winked by Super S! PLEASE H-E-B, hurry up and get your ass to Comfort! This concludes RANT #1…………

RANT #2, The Oscars. The 80th Academy Awards were last night. I thought it was a pretty week year for movies. I mean DAMN..not 1 Will Ferrell movie in the running? Just wait until next year..Semi-Pro will sweep those beatches!!! Everyone has their favorite part of the broadcast. Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress, Supporting Actor/Actress, Director, yada yada. With each year that passes I find myself more and more intrigued by 1 “category” in particular. It’s not really an achievement either…I mean, we are all gonna do it someday. I know I am going straight to hell for this one, (although Mrs. ASOD tells me it’s perfectly okJ), I can’t freaking WAIT until they do that little Montage of all the people that have died since the last Oscars!! For me, the suspense is over after that part of the show! The best part is that inevitably you say this, “DUDE, I had no idea that person died!” or “I thought he died like 5 years ago.” I know that is horrible to say, but hey…that’s how I roll. It’s kinda like watching the Pre-Game to the Super Bowl..you spend 9 hours just WAITING for the kickoff..then, after 4 musical performances, the Anthem, everyone’s predictions, all the up close and personal CRAP, you get the kickoff…then the rest rarely lives up to expectation. Same with the Oscars…..Achievement in Art Directing, Special Effects, Animation, Documentary, Short Film, Short Animated Film…..all PRE-GAME for me until the Oscars really KICK OFF…….with the Kick The Bucket List.

Today’s song comes courtesy of Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan and Night at the Roxbury fame! Watched this the other night with the Chilin’s..damn I loves me some Will Ferrell! Haddaway..What is Love! Sing this BEATCH ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!! ORALE Butabi Brothers!!!!!

P.S. Keep up the good work at Sports Talk San Antonio Taylor! Great 2 minute interview with Ferrell!

“What Is Love?”
By: Haddaway

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Yeah Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong Game a sign
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
What is love Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
Whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Oh, I don't know, what can I do What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you I can't go on
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
What is love Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
Don't hurt me Don't hurt me I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time When we are together,
I need you forever Is it love
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love?

ASOD-----revisited!

Merhaba! (HINT: this greeting comes from a place where no one, particularly men, would want to spend any time in their prisons!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!! Happy 35th birthday to my old ass!!! I turned 35 on 1-1-08 and celebrated in the RGV..VIVA LA RAZA y ZAPATA!!!!

I had an entire rant planned out for today’s ASOD, but all that changed at 7:47 am CST at the Exxon on “THE” 10 and UTSA Blvd. (“THE” 10, that was for you Jenny!). Whilst driving in from Comfort, TX I heard an ad for Exxon Bengal Traders Coffee. The premise was simple really, purchase any 20 oz. coffee or hot beverage and receive a free cinnamon bun or do-nut. Now, those who know me well know that I am NOT a coffee drinker. I don’t need coffee like some people need CEREAL and fresh milk! Bacon on the other hand, then I might have to go mid-evil on someone’s ass if I am denied bacon! But here of late I have acquired a taste for Exxon Bengal Traders English Toffee Cappuccino. So when the weather is a little brisk, I’ll stop in for a 20 oz. Toffee on my way to work. I have done this maybe 4 times. Well, when you throw in a free do-nut or cinnamon roll, now we’re talking baby!! Hook a brotha up! So I stopped in for some gas and my Toffee and do-nut. I should have turned around when I noticed this particular Exxon had NO FRIGGIN TOFFEE!!! I searched around and found a suitable replacement, Hot Chocolate. I grabbed my do-nut a proceeded to the counter. When the little Nazi behind the counter grabbed the do-nut to ring it up, BAM! There it was….$.59, then the choco, whatever the hell that was to total $2.09. I said..hang on a minute Smarty McSmartsmart…don’t I get a free do-nut with this here hot choco? Then…this little snit minimum-wager says to me and I quote, “It only rings up as free when you get a 20 oz beverage!”. I looked down and to my horror had a 24 oz. hot choco!! SKANK! You’re telling me that because I am spending another $.20 to get 4 more ounces your are charging me $.59 for a crappy ass do-nut! WTF, OMG, NROFLMAO, NLOL, totally NOT my BFF DAMNIT!!!! I could not believe it! But I did what any dude would typically do, I paid $.59 for the do-nut and walked out going…WTF just happened there? All I could see was Ricky Bobby saying….”THAT JUST HAPPENED”! That totally blew ass..but that is what I get for trying to be a coffee drinker! Where is my BACON DAMNIT!! As Mel Gibson would say in Ransom, “Gimme back my Bacon!” I am sorry bacon for cheating on you with Coffee or hot chocolate or whatever the hell it was…..damnit I can’t wait for the cruise! I am putting a freaking HURTIN’ on the breakfast buffet!

Stay tuned, for tomorrow I will discuss Steroids in Baseball, Roger Clemens and how the Ticket 760 sucks ass taking off the drive on Fox and replacing him with Dan freaking Patrick!!! WTF!!!!

Enjoy today’s song, It’s too late, by Timbaland. First of all, I did not know that POLOGIZE was a word! (The lyrics read APOLOGIZE, but the song clearly leaves out the “A”). Amazing what can be accomplished with a hooky catch phrase and poor grammar….MAS WORSER!!!!

It’s too Late
By: Timbaland

I'm holding on your rope,Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
Chorus
That it's too late to apologize
It's too late
I said it's too late to apologize
It's too lateI'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new - yeah
I loved you with the a fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say..."Sorry" like an angel
Heaven let me think was youBut I'm afraid...
ChorusWhoaa ohhh...Bridge (guitar/piano)hey,
hey...It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet... off the ground...

Another Night at Rope-A-Ho and Mix 96.1

DOBRI DZEN! Ok..back to this again. A Huge pat on the back if you can tell me what language that is hello in...WITHOUT THE GOOGLE! Well looky here, it's only been 3 months and 5 days since my last post. I know...I know...the model of consistency. I try:) As stated before I don't like to post an Annoying Song of the Day simply for posting sake. It needs to mean something. Usually I wait until something erks me enough to write about it and there have been a few things lately.

So Saturday Night we are at Midnight. Yes, it all goes back to the Rope-A-Ho. Mel, John, Pauline & I were taking in the sites and sounds of a typical Texas Saturday night at the Ole' Watering Hole when a good old-fashioned Waltz started playing. Ok, here is something I learned and knew all too well but it never pissed me off like it did Saturday night. Just because you have a Cowboy Hat on, some starched up Cinch Jeans & matching shirt, Ariats and a sparkly belt does NOT mean you know how to dance! IT'S A WALTZ IDIOT! Not a slow half-step, not a two-step, A WALTZ! One, two, three...one, two, three...one, two three. Is that so freaking hard that you can't manage that? Did your Mom or Oma never teach you how to Waltz moron? It's really simple, watch the people that look like they have rythym and are moving with the music...and COPY THEM! It's not Rocket Science mensa! Maybe you should have taken the $500 you spent on your Coca-Cola Cowboy outfit and learned how to dance. Trust me, the chick you are dancing with knows you suck and will tell her friends you suck. But alas I know you will be back Wednesday Night with your skin-tight Affliction shirt on trying to mack on the same girls with the same lame moves. Seen it a thousand times loser. Good Luck! Ahhhhh..I feel so much better now!

Now on to Mix 96.1. I am convinced that between the hours of 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. there are only 5 songs on their playlist. They are: Kesha-Tik Tok, IYAZ(formerly Sean Kingston) Replay, Lady Gaga-Bad Romance, Orianthi-According to You & David Guetta & Akon-Sex Chick. PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MIX IN SOMETHING ELSE!!! Hey, I'll even be happy with some Do You Remember? or maybe even Down, down, down , down, down. Dooown, Doooown, baby are you down, down, down, down, down? It's bad enough that I wanna B-Slap Kidd Kraddick most of the time because he is a tool, but playing the same 5 songs everyday makes it even worse! I'll be damned if I turn over to 99.5, Lisle & Hahn have turned into a bunch of Liberal, whiny A-Holes! DUDE's....you are almost 60..go work for KQ102! QUIMBY'S! Ok......I think I just might have purged the bad taste from my mouth from non-walzters and Mix....now if I can just find the A-Hole miscreant that stole Connor's spikes.....all would be right with the world! So since I have to be annoyed by these five songs.....so do you! They are even so annoying that I am straying from the norm and not posting their lyrics because who needs them? So enjoy singing....Ra-Ra-ah ah ah, roma roma ma, Gaga Oh la la, shawty's like a melody in my head, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, according to you, I'm stuipd, I'm useless, can't do anything right, she's nothing like the girl you've ever seen before, nothign to compare to your neighborhood......kinda funny when you put them all together...they could be the same song..................

Oh Lord.......

Greetings everyone! It's been almost 5 months since my last post, so much for staying consistent. I am working on limiting the use of the exclamation point in this entry so bare with me if it seems to lack enthusiasm. The topic for today's post is an old one, but I was reminded of it a week or so ago and it still pissed me off. These freaking rhinestone "Fashion Belts" that the "guys" are wearing out at clubs. WTF. Still with these things? Although last year a quandry arose when I went to go watch bullriding at Far West..or whatever the hell it is called now. A friend of ours is a bullrider..and him and all his bullriding buddies were wearing these friggin belts! My brain wanted to explode. How the hell can guys that are this tough wear sparkly "fashion belts"? I am in no way questioning the manhood of a bullrider. These dudes are the toughest guys on the planet in my opinion, but when you accesorize with a damn chicks belt!! What are we supposed to think? so I guess what I am trying to say is....unless you are a bullrider, then wearing a sparkly belt it gay! Quickly rising on the scale of what annoys Larry are these damn AFFLICTION shirts that guys are wearing. YES, we get it! You work out. But just because you wear an affliction shirt does not automatically qualify you for MMA. Just because you have bulging muscles does not meat you know how to use them. DUDE...you are wearing a skintight-v-neck shirt with wings on it(or whatever the hell the design is). Nothing says DOUCHEBAG more than an affliction shirt...except maybe a guy wearing an affliction shirt AND a sparkly belt! Oh yeah....and you paid $80 for a freaking T-shirt! That's a D-Bag with too much money. (Secretly Larry wishes he had the muscles to fill out one of those shirts but hopes he will have the common sense to forego the purchase of a d-bag t-shirt!).

Ok...on to today's annoying song. This song was heard last night at the Dollar General in Comfort. I was reminded of how I once told Connor this could be his theme song, but in a good way! He smiled and said, "That song is PIMP!" I guess I know whaat his next ringtone will be. Oh Lord........enjoy this song and I hope you sing it for 17 hours straight like I have!

Lord It's Hard to be Humble.

by: Mac Davis

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I'm doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend,

but she just couldn't compete.

With all of these love-starved women,

who keep clamoring at my feet.

Well I prob'ly could find me another,

but I guess they're all in awe of me.

Who cares, I never get lonesome,

Cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I doing the best that I can.

I guess you could say I'm a loner,

a cowboy outlaw tough and proud.

I could have lot's of friends if I want to,

but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.
Some folks say that I'm egotistical,

Hell I don't even know what that means.

I guess it has something to do with the way

that I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans.

Oh......Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I'm doing the best that I can.

We're doing the best that we can.

E-Mancipation!

Bon-Bini! Con ta Bai? Today is Thursday, June 25th 2009 and at the suggestion of The Paxton, I have started the Annoying Song of the Day group on The Facebook. I am going to call it THE FACEBOOK because I hate saying Facebook. Dig it! So a brief history of the Annoying Song of the Day or ASOD as it is also known. If you have heard this before, relax, go grab a beer, it will only take a minute or so.Way back in early 1997 while working at the Plantation...errrrr USAA, San Miguel, Bogart and I were pretending to work and San Miguel began singing Kung Fu Fighting. The rest of that entire day we could not get that song out of our damn heads! The thing was, we could not remember most of the words. So being Pre-Google days I think I used Hotbot to search for the lyrics and found them. Then we thought well hell....why should we be pinche with the annoying-ness? We should share it with everyone so they were singing it also! So we sent out an e-mail to a select group of friends with a little prologue by me and the lyrics to King Fu Fighting! Thus the ASOD was born. Throughout the years and my many places of employment I tried to keep sending out new ASOD's and for the most part did. Although they were usually spaced really far apart and then I would not do one for months or so. The way I see it is this: I only publish an ASOD when the mood strikes me, not every freaking day. Usually when something really annoys the hell out of me. The ASOD has evolved from just a few little words and lyrics to full on RANTS of epic proportion when I am ginourmously pissed at something. Back in 2005 I even e-mail Jeff and Rob Thompson of WOAI fame with an ASOD. They liked it so much, they told me to keep them coming and they would mention them on their new show! I was so pumped, until......those pinche gueros took the idea as their own and actually had a segment on their show called: "The most annoying song of the day" Ass-masters actually said they thought of it over dinner with their wives! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I am over it....really! I even stepped it up a bit last year and created a Blog for the ASOD, which I will attempt to keep running in conjuction with THE FACEBOOK. http://www.a-s-o-d.blogspot.com/. So....without further delay:I was sent a link on Monday that disturbed me greatly. It was for a website called: http://www.e-mancipate.net/. They are trying to promote the use of Pantyhose for men called Mantyhose! WTF? Do dudes really need mantyhose? If you have overly-hairy legs, will the hairs poke out thru them like Mrs. Doubtfire? HEEEEELLLOOOOOOO!!! You need to go look at them. They have Camo, sheer and SHIVERS for those oh so cold Winter months. I swear the first dude I see wearing these I will laugh..and laugh HARD. Louder then I laugh at dudes with Truck-Nutz on their trucks or louder than I laugh at those Jotos with Western Fashion Belts! (A topic from another ASOD). Although a did see a group of Bull-Riders wearing them, and it is hard to call those guys Jotos, but there was Brokeback Mountain.........Enough with the wussification of the Men in this country! That's right I said MEN!! Men who burp and fart(Jason), men who work on cars, men who raise their kids, men who bust their ass all day out in the hot sun, MEN! Not Metro-sexual nancy-boys that need freaking Mantyhose! STOP ALREADY..............So, to keep in the spirit of quimby-ass Jobrosexual morons wearing "mantyhose" today's Annoying Song of the Day has got to be........."Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. Not because it's that annoying, but because the video has "dudes" dancing around a poll wearing tards! Enjoy singing the hell out of the song until the next onees comes along!!!

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-ySafe, dance![Spoken]We can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mineI say, we can go where we want toA place where they will never findAnd we can act like we come from out of this worldLeave the real one far behindAnd we can dance[Sung]We can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mineI say, we can go where we want toA place where they will never findAnd we can act like we come from out of this worldLeave the real one far behindAnd we can danceDanc¨¦e!We can go when we want toThe night is young and so am IAnd we can dress real neat from our hats to our feetAnd surprise 'em with the victory crySay, we can act if want toIf we don't nobody willAnd you can act real rude and totally removedAnd I can act like an imbecile[Refrain]I say, we can dance, we can danceEverything out of controlWe can dance, we can danceWe're doing it from wall to wallWe can dance, we can danceEverybody look at your handsWe can dance, we can danceEverybody takin' the cha-a-a-anceSafety danceIs it safe to danceIs it safe to danceS-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-ySafe, dance!We can dance if we want toWe've got all your life and mineAs long as we abuse it, never gonna lose itEverything'll work out rightI say, we can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mine[Refrain]Is it safe to dance, oh is it safe to dance [6x]Is it safe to dance