Pony Play, NIOSA & more Jotos wearing Joto belts.....

Viva Fiesta!!! Ok, I promised that I woould go into my explanation of "PONY PLAY" on my next ASOD. 2 weeks ago whilst I was in Longview, TX I was watching some crap on HBO when I decided to go out and get some dinner. Went to a KFC/Taco Bell combo. first of all..who the hell decided that was a good idea? chicken AND Mexican food in one stop...let me just tap a vein right here in my truck and you can pump the Bio-Diesel straight into my heart! F-Me man!! So of course, they F you at the drive thru. Took 35 minutes to get my order and NONE of it was right! Bastardos! how can you mistake MOUNTAIN DEW for WATER. Bunch of Mensas working that night I guess. So I make my way back to the good ol' Wingate Inn, about 10 p.m. by now. What do you think greets me when I get back to the room??? Real Sex #4,593 and chicks AND dudes dressed up as horses! the segment was called PONY PLAY. WTF? People actually like to dress up as horses and be riden and whipped!! But it really is much sicker than I just described. The first scene I was lucky enough to see was a pretty good looking chick, wearing a real saddle with a chrome horse bit in her mouth! She was bent over a hitching post while another relatively..well Bowling Alley hot chick was freaking HORSE SHOEING HER! Yes..you hear me right...she was getting horse-shoed! She had these buckle on HORSE Hooves she wore and they were nailing horse shoes onto them! Holy horse shit BATMAN! REALLY? Are you that bored with getting laid that you need to pretend to be a horse? Come on...what ever happened to good old-fashioned whips and chains and good old auto-eroticism? I mean what has the world come to when tying one end of a rope to your Caribou III Multi Gym and the other end to your neck and whacking off until you almost pass out not good enough? You need to eat hay and prance around a barnyard while some dude twice your size rides you then when he is done brushes your ass with a horse brush? WOW-I likes me some horses, but not enough to want to pretend to bang one! SWEET JESUS hand-raises already!!!!

Last night at NIOSA I saw the best freaking shirt ever on a lady at the Irish Flats beer booth. It read, "Puro Pinche Party!" I am getting one to wear on the cruise along with my ROCK OUT WITH YOUR GUAC OUT shirt! I am gonna tell my non-spanish speaking white friends on the ship it means, "I LOVE PARTYLITE!" Mel...you thought CHINGADARIE was bad!!!!! hahahahaha. After NIOSA ended at 10:30 we took our Park-N-Ride asses out to the Rope-A-Ho for a few cocktails. not only did I see a big burly cowboy type "man" wearing a "Western Fashion Belt", it was Pink, Teal and Yellow! I think Rojo Menso must have one of those:) Last night was Week #4 of the Bikini Contest..and to be fair..I will have to dedicate an entire ASOD to it....maybe on Monday;)

Here is something that pisses me off.....how come I can stay at the $75 dollar a night Drury Inn and have my wireless internet free like a MOFO, but at the $250 dollar a night Hilton Hotel De Americas in Houston it is $10/day? Really Hilton- you need to A-Rape me like that for Internet? Just tell me my room will be $260/night and lump it all together ass monkeys!

VAMOS SPURS VAMOS!!

Today's song comes from URSHER or USHER however the hell you say it! Dude.....just come out and say what you really want bro! Don't beat around the bush already!!! Line of the song- I'm Gonna Bag you like some Groceries! Mama must be proud of you!! ENJOY!

Let's Make Love In this Club

by: USHER

(Usher talking) I do it for the ladies

I gotta keep it hood

Where we at Polo? ('EY)

I see you right

Yo Keith You was right

We just gettin started YEAHHHHHH MAN
(Usher) You say you searching for somebody

That'll take you out and do you right

Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like

You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on (sippin on sippin on) (ey)

And I promise that I’m gonna keep it comin’ all night long
(hook) Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side

And I think shorty I’ve got a thing for you Doin’ it on purpose

Windin and workin’ it I can tell by the way you lookin’ at me girl
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
(Usher) (Listen) Got some friends rollin’ wit you baby then thats cool (thats cool, thats cool)

You can leave em wit my niggaz let em know that I got you (got u, got u)

If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s on my mind (my mind, my mind)

Cos the way you staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night
(hook) Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side

I cant take it no more baby im comin for you

You keep doin’ it on purpose whindin and workin’ it

If we close our eyes it could be just me and you
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
(Young Jeezy talking) POLO YOU A FOOL FOR THIS ONE HOMIE IM ON EM, YEAHHHH LETS GO!!
(Young Jeezy) I’m what you want, I’m what you need He got you trapped,

I’ll set you free Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally

I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me

It’s going down on isle 3. I’ll bag you like some groceries

And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me

Bout to hit the club, make a movie yeah rated R

Pulled up like a trap star, thats if you had (in the car)

Have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his sights on?

87 Jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on

On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor

You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m tryna go
(usher) Might as well give me a kiss,

if we keep touchin like this i know you scared baby,

They dont know what we doin

Lets both get undressed right here,

keep it up girl i swear, imma give it to you non stop and i dont care, who's watchin...watchin...watchin

(watchin watchin...ohhhh...in this club, on the floor, baby's just makin love)
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

(lovin in...lovin in this club. 'eyyy...yea...ey..ey..

love...in the club..in the club, ur the one, can u freak me babe?)
(ey) X7 (usher) in the back, on the side, in the front. ya ya ya ya