Pony Play, NIOSA & more Jotos wearing Joto belts.....

Viva Fiesta!!! Ok, I promised that I woould go into my explanation of "PONY PLAY" on my next ASOD. 2 weeks ago whilst I was in Longview, TX I was watching some crap on HBO when I decided to go out and get some dinner. Went to a KFC/Taco Bell combo. first of all..who the hell decided that was a good idea? chicken AND Mexican food in one stop...let me just tap a vein right here in my truck and you can pump the Bio-Diesel straight into my heart! F-Me man!! So of course, they F you at the drive thru. Took 35 minutes to get my order and NONE of it was right! Bastardos! how can you mistake MOUNTAIN DEW for WATER. Bunch of Mensas working that night I guess. So I make my way back to the good ol' Wingate Inn, about 10 p.m. by now. What do you think greets me when I get back to the room??? Real Sex #4,593 and chicks AND dudes dressed up as horses! the segment was called PONY PLAY. WTF? People actually like to dress up as horses and be riden and whipped!! But it really is much sicker than I just described. The first scene I was lucky enough to see was a pretty good looking chick, wearing a real saddle with a chrome horse bit in her mouth! She was bent over a hitching post while another relatively..well Bowling Alley hot chick was freaking HORSE SHOEING HER! Yes..you hear me right...she was getting horse-shoed! She had these buckle on HORSE Hooves she wore and they were nailing horse shoes onto them! Holy horse shit BATMAN! REALLY? Are you that bored with getting laid that you need to pretend to be a horse? Come on...what ever happened to good old-fashioned whips and chains and good old auto-eroticism? I mean what has the world come to when tying one end of a rope to your Caribou III Multi Gym and the other end to your neck and whacking off until you almost pass out not good enough? You need to eat hay and prance around a barnyard while some dude twice your size rides you then when he is done brushes your ass with a horse brush? WOW-I likes me some horses, but not enough to want to pretend to bang one! SWEET JESUS hand-raises already!!!!

Last night at NIOSA I saw the best freaking shirt ever on a lady at the Irish Flats beer booth. It read, "Puro Pinche Party!" I am getting one to wear on the cruise along with my ROCK OUT WITH YOUR GUAC OUT shirt! I am gonna tell my non-spanish speaking white friends on the ship it means, "I LOVE PARTYLITE!" Mel...you thought CHINGADARIE was bad!!!!! hahahahaha. After NIOSA ended at 10:30 we took our Park-N-Ride asses out to the Rope-A-Ho for a few cocktails. not only did I see a big burly cowboy type "man" wearing a "Western Fashion Belt", it was Pink, Teal and Yellow! I think Rojo Menso must have one of those:) Last night was Week #4 of the Bikini Contest..and to be fair..I will have to dedicate an entire ASOD to it....maybe on Monday;)

Here is something that pisses me off.....how come I can stay at the $75 dollar a night Drury Inn and have my wireless internet free like a MOFO, but at the $250 dollar a night Hilton Hotel De Americas in Houston it is $10/day? Really Hilton- you need to A-Rape me like that for Internet? Just tell me my room will be $260/night and lump it all together ass monkeys!

VAMOS SPURS VAMOS!!

Today's song comes from URSHER or USHER however the hell you say it! Dude.....just come out and say what you really want bro! Don't beat around the bush already!!! Line of the song- I'm Gonna Bag you like some Groceries! Mama must be proud of you!! ENJOY!

Let's Make Love In this Club

by: USHER

(Usher talking) I do it for the ladies

I gotta keep it hood

Where we at Polo? ('EY)

I see you right

Yo Keith You was right

We just gettin started YEAHHHHHH MAN
(Usher) You say you searching for somebody

That'll take you out and do you right

Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like

You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on (sippin on sippin on) (ey)

And I promise that I’m gonna keep it comin’ all night long
(hook) Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side

And I think shorty I’ve got a thing for you Doin’ it on purpose

Windin and workin’ it I can tell by the way you lookin’ at me girl
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
(Usher) (Listen) Got some friends rollin’ wit you baby then thats cool (thats cool, thats cool)

You can leave em wit my niggaz let em know that I got you (got u, got u)

If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s on my mind (my mind, my mind)

Cos the way you staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night
(hook) Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side

I cant take it no more baby im comin for you

You keep doin’ it on purpose whindin and workin’ it

If we close our eyes it could be just me and you
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
(Young Jeezy talking) POLO YOU A FOOL FOR THIS ONE HOMIE IM ON EM, YEAHHHH LETS GO!!
(Young Jeezy) I’m what you want, I’m what you need He got you trapped,

I’ll set you free Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally

I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me

It’s going down on isle 3. I’ll bag you like some groceries

And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me

Bout to hit the club, make a movie yeah rated R

Pulled up like a trap star, thats if you had (in the car)

Have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his sights on?

87 Jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on

On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor

You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m tryna go
(usher) Might as well give me a kiss,

if we keep touchin like this i know you scared baby,

They dont know what we doin

Lets both get undressed right here,

keep it up girl i swear, imma give it to you non stop and i dont care, who's watchin...watchin...watchin

(watchin watchin...ohhhh...in this club, on the floor, baby's just makin love)
(chorus) I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

(lovin in...lovin in this club. 'eyyy...yea...ey..ey..

love...in the club..in the club, ur the one, can u freak me babe?)
(ey) X7 (usher) in the back, on the side, in the front. ya ya ya ya

Tradio, Pony Play & Rojo Menso=Mas Joto!

So I don't hear from Rojo Menso for almost a year, and the first thing he replies with is: Blogs are Ghey? Not that there's anything wrong with that! Only cause you are Rojo Menso, that entitles you to 1 free pass. You just used it HO!! Hahahaha..hey at least Brysch is actually commenting! Is anyboy reading this crap anymore????? If Virginia is for Lovers Carl.....then what is West Virgina for..........?

So last week on my pilgramage to Longview, on HWY 16 I drove though a small town called Cherokee, just North of Llano. With my super-sweet AM/FM no CD Radio I was scanning stations on the FM side when I came across what is usually a country station. Except between the hours of 10 a.m. and 12 p.m. that is when the MAGIC happens, that is when TRADIO is on the air!!! Yes, it is jsut what it sounds like. Hill-Billies have now found a place to hold their Yard/Garage/"Estate" sales on the radio! This is what I hear when it get's tuned in, "Let's go to # 43, Earl from Llano"! "Yes Roscoe I have 1987 LaSabre that I am parting out, about 6 24" x 10' galvanized Drainage Culverts, and I am still trying to get rid of my 1996 Dale Earnhardt Comemerative Pen Set"! SWEET! This was like E-Bay....only not so much. I like to call it...HEE-Bay! A Sr. Comemerative Pen Set? Come on dude....everyone knows that Richard Petty is the Shizz and the only one worthy of a comemerative pen set! Well..not really, but who hell wants that you ask? Glad you did, cause Thelma Ray from Commanche said it would complete her set! She just found the missing plate on Tradio 2 weeks ago to her Elvis Pressley Plate Collection! Oh man, the joys of the CD-less, i-Pod Less radio, errrrr TRADIO experience! Damnit Jim..I could not even pick up any Jim Rome...WTF?

Carl-Rojo Menso- Brysch is ghey, gay, Joto, Puto, todos los dias!!!! Not that there is anything wrong with that!

Today's song is a pretty cool song, but I heard it this morning and have not been able to get the damn chorus out of my head ALL FREAKING DAY!!!! Oh yeah, I will cover Pony Play tommorow, if I can keep from throwing up in my mouth! ENJOY! I did not feel like formatting the lyrics....sorry! Adds to the Annoyance I think!

No Air!

by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown

Tell me how I'm suppose to breathe with no air [oohhhh] [ Jordin S.] If I Should die Before I wake, Its cause You took My breath Away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air Ohhh... [ Chris B.] I'm here, Alone, Didn't want To leave. My heart won't move, It's incomplete. Wish there Was a way That I can make you to understand, (Pre-Chorus) But How, Do you expect me, To live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you, Its so hard for me to breathe. (Chorus) Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air. Can't live, can't breathe with no air. That's how I feel when I know you ain't there. There's No Air No Air. Got me out here in the water so deep. Tell me how you gon' be without me. If you ain't here, I just can't breathe. Its No Air No Air. No air air (ohhhh) No air air (noooo) No air air (ohhhh) No air air [ Chris B.] I Walked, I Ran, I Jumped, I Flew, Right off the ground, To float to you. There's no gravity, To hold me down, For real. [Jordin S.] But Somehow I'm still alive inside. You took my breath, But I survived. I don't know how, But I don't even care. (Pre-Chorus) So How, Do you expect me, To live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you, Its so hard for me to breathe. ( Chorus) Tell Me How I'm supposed to breathe with no air. Can't live can't breathe with no air. That's how I feel when I know you ain't there. Its No Air No Air. Got me out here in the water so deep. Tell me how you gon' be without me. If you ain't here, I just can't breathe There's No Air No Air No air air (ohhhh) No air air (ohhhh) No air air (ohhhh) No air air uhh uhh uhh No Air (ohhh) uhh uhh uhh No Air (ohhh) uhh uhh uhh Its No Air No Air Heyyy.. Oooooo.. No Aiiiiiir Oooooo.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (Chorus) Tell Me How I'm supposed to breathe with no air. Can't live can't breathe with no air. That's how I feel when I know you ain't there. There's No Air No Air. Got me out here in the water so deep. Tell me how you gon' be without me. If you ain't here I just can't breathe. There's No Air No Air. Do you expect me, To live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you, I'ts so hard for me to breathe. (Chorus) Tell Me How I'm supposed to breathe with no air. Can't live can't breathe with no air. That's how I feel when I know you ain't there. It's No Air No Air. [ Jordin S.] Got me out here in the water so deep. [ Chris B.] Tell me how you gon' be without me. [ Jordin S.] If you ain't here, I just can't breathe. [Both] There's No Air No Air No air air (ohh) No air air (ohh) No air air (No air)

F-R-E-E that spells free........

Mas Better! I am still pissed at the BSB's and I hope they are all arrested for Tax Evasion, sent to Rikers Island for 5-10 and become the Arayan Brotherhood's bitches a-la Beecher from OZ. I'm not bitter, I am letting it go. In spite of feable attempts by FOM's (Friends of Mark) to remind me of the mindless tripe that is BSB!

Today I would like to rant about the tip line on your credit/debit card receipts. Not so much that it is there, but the fact that is is there at places like Dairy Queen. Nothing worse than spending $11.50 on a #2 with cheese and bacon, Texas Sized, Unsweet Tea and Large Hawaiin Blizzard only to get your receipt and have a line for a tip! WTF? Really? You are already tossing my salad like a first night inmate at San Quentin and then you want a tip? I feel like saying, "I myself, prefer syrup!" Then you have the awkward moment when they know you are looking at the tip line like what? What did they do? Take my order? It's not like they went out of their way for me, but I am not gonna buckle like some chump being swindled into paying extra because he got the 24 oz. cappuccino instead of the 20 oz. which is what the special was! Hell to the no! NO TIP FOR YOU!

Congrats to the fabulous RVP of the Fiesta Region for kicking ass and earning another trip for us to The Doral in Miami, Bahammas, Cozumel and Grand Cayman! The Thayn-Dugan vacation is ON like Donkey Kong! BOOYA!!!

Todays song comes courtesy of FreeCreditReport.com. I know you guys have heard it, the one where he sings about trying to buy a car, but he can't cause he didn't check his credit report. Hey, asscrack, if you had used free credit report.com you would have just found out you credit sucked MAS SOONER and not embarrased the hell out of yourself. You still would be driving a "used sub-compact". IDIOT! Quit living for your credit report bro. My goal is to have a 0 FICO score. SUCK ON THAT Experian, Equifax or whatever the hell you are called now. Debt sucks ass and if that means I have to drive a beater until I can buy a nicer car for cash, so be it. Hell...San Miguel has seen the cars I have driven in the past. I am not past driving some ass-mobiles man! Remember the '92 Protoge that had the radio stolen 3 times, did not have an AC and leaked like a sieve when it sprinkled rain? Or the '94 Saturn Ghetto Joe affectionatley called DING-DING because it also leaked and when it rained the seatbelt alarm would not shut-off! Then the sweet-ass sweet '84 Bronco II-RIP my friend! Damn thing sprayed oil on any car within 100 ft. of my rear bumper and smelled like 1984! Those were the days...good ole' 2006!! So enjoy singing this pinche jingle all day long and DOWN WITH WHITIE...or at least the Credit Bureau's!!


While I was shoppin for a new car which one's me?
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was wack,
Cuz now im drivin off a lot in a used sub-compact.
F-R-E-E that spells free, Credit Report dot com ba-by.
Saw their ads on my TV, thought about going but was too lazy.
Now instead of lookin fly-n-rollin phat,
My legs are stickin to the vinyl and my posseys gettin laughed at.
F-R-E-E that spells free credit report dot com ba-by.