Oh Lord.......

Greetings everyone! It's been almost 5 months since my last post, so much for staying consistent. I am working on limiting the use of the exclamation point in this entry so bare with me if it seems to lack enthusiasm. The topic for today's post is an old one, but I was reminded of it a week or so ago and it still pissed me off. These freaking rhinestone "Fashion Belts" that the "guys" are wearing out at clubs. WTF. Still with these things? Although last year a quandry arose when I went to go watch bullriding at Far West..or whatever the hell it is called now. A friend of ours is a bullrider..and him and all his bullriding buddies were wearing these friggin belts! My brain wanted to explode. How the hell can guys that are this tough wear sparkly "fashion belts"? I am in no way questioning the manhood of a bullrider. These dudes are the toughest guys on the planet in my opinion, but when you accesorize with a damn chicks belt!! What are we supposed to think? so I guess what I am trying to say is....unless you are a bullrider, then wearing a sparkly belt it gay! Quickly rising on the scale of what annoys Larry are these damn AFFLICTION shirts that guys are wearing. YES, we get it! You work out. But just because you wear an affliction shirt does not automatically qualify you for MMA. Just because you have bulging muscles does not meat you know how to use them. DUDE...you are wearing a skintight-v-neck shirt with wings on it(or whatever the hell the design is). Nothing says DOUCHEBAG more than an affliction shirt...except maybe a guy wearing an affliction shirt AND a sparkly belt! Oh yeah....and you paid $80 for a freaking T-shirt! That's a D-Bag with too much money. (Secretly Larry wishes he had the muscles to fill out one of those shirts but hopes he will have the common sense to forego the purchase of a d-bag t-shirt!).

Ok...on to today's annoying song. This song was heard last night at the Dollar General in Comfort. I was reminded of how I once told Connor this could be his theme song, but in a good way! He smiled and said, "That song is PIMP!" I guess I know whaat his next ringtone will be. Oh Lord........enjoy this song and I hope you sing it for 17 hours straight like I have!

Lord It's Hard to be Humble.

by: Mac Davis

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I'm doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend,

but she just couldn't compete.

With all of these love-starved women,

who keep clamoring at my feet.

Well I prob'ly could find me another,

but I guess they're all in awe of me.

Who cares, I never get lonesome,

Cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I doing the best that I can.

I guess you could say I'm a loner,

a cowboy outlaw tough and proud.

I could have lot's of friends if I want to,

but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.
Some folks say that I'm egotistical,

Hell I don't even know what that means.

I guess it has something to do with the way

that I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans.

Oh......Lord it's hard to be humble,

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror,

I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me,

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble,

but I'm doing the best that I can.

We're doing the best that we can.

E-Mancipation!

Bon-Bini! Con ta Bai? Today is Thursday, June 25th 2009 and at the suggestion of The Paxton, I have started the Annoying Song of the Day group on The Facebook. I am going to call it THE FACEBOOK because I hate saying Facebook. Dig it! So a brief history of the Annoying Song of the Day or ASOD as it is also known. If you have heard this before, relax, go grab a beer, it will only take a minute or so.Way back in early 1997 while working at the Plantation...errrrr USAA, San Miguel, Bogart and I were pretending to work and San Miguel began singing Kung Fu Fighting. The rest of that entire day we could not get that song out of our damn heads! The thing was, we could not remember most of the words. So being Pre-Google days I think I used Hotbot to search for the lyrics and found them. Then we thought well hell....why should we be pinche with the annoying-ness? We should share it with everyone so they were singing it also! So we sent out an e-mail to a select group of friends with a little prologue by me and the lyrics to King Fu Fighting! Thus the ASOD was born. Throughout the years and my many places of employment I tried to keep sending out new ASOD's and for the most part did. Although they were usually spaced really far apart and then I would not do one for months or so. The way I see it is this: I only publish an ASOD when the mood strikes me, not every freaking day. Usually when something really annoys the hell out of me. The ASOD has evolved from just a few little words and lyrics to full on RANTS of epic proportion when I am ginourmously pissed at something. Back in 2005 I even e-mail Jeff and Rob Thompson of WOAI fame with an ASOD. They liked it so much, they told me to keep them coming and they would mention them on their new show! I was so pumped, until......those pinche gueros took the idea as their own and actually had a segment on their show called: "The most annoying song of the day" Ass-masters actually said they thought of it over dinner with their wives! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I am over it....really! I even stepped it up a bit last year and created a Blog for the ASOD, which I will attempt to keep running in conjuction with THE FACEBOOK. http://www.a-s-o-d.blogspot.com/. So....without further delay:I was sent a link on Monday that disturbed me greatly. It was for a website called: http://www.e-mancipate.net/. They are trying to promote the use of Pantyhose for men called Mantyhose! WTF? Do dudes really need mantyhose? If you have overly-hairy legs, will the hairs poke out thru them like Mrs. Doubtfire? HEEEEELLLOOOOOOO!!! You need to go look at them. They have Camo, sheer and SHIVERS for those oh so cold Winter months. I swear the first dude I see wearing these I will laugh..and laugh HARD. Louder then I laugh at dudes with Truck-Nutz on their trucks or louder than I laugh at those Jotos with Western Fashion Belts! (A topic from another ASOD). Although a did see a group of Bull-Riders wearing them, and it is hard to call those guys Jotos, but there was Brokeback Mountain.........Enough with the wussification of the Men in this country! That's right I said MEN!! Men who burp and fart(Jason), men who work on cars, men who raise their kids, men who bust their ass all day out in the hot sun, MEN! Not Metro-sexual nancy-boys that need freaking Mantyhose! STOP ALREADY..............So, to keep in the spirit of quimby-ass Jobrosexual morons wearing "mantyhose" today's Annoying Song of the Day has got to be........."Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. Not because it's that annoying, but because the video has "dudes" dancing around a poll wearing tards! Enjoy singing the hell out of the song until the next onees comes along!!!

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-ySafe, dance![Spoken]We can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mineI say, we can go where we want toA place where they will never findAnd we can act like we come from out of this worldLeave the real one far behindAnd we can dance[Sung]We can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mineI say, we can go where we want toA place where they will never findAnd we can act like we come from out of this worldLeave the real one far behindAnd we can danceDanc¨¦e!We can go when we want toThe night is young and so am IAnd we can dress real neat from our hats to our feetAnd surprise 'em with the victory crySay, we can act if want toIf we don't nobody willAnd you can act real rude and totally removedAnd I can act like an imbecile[Refrain]I say, we can dance, we can danceEverything out of controlWe can dance, we can danceWe're doing it from wall to wallWe can dance, we can danceEverybody look at your handsWe can dance, we can danceEverybody takin' the cha-a-a-anceSafety danceIs it safe to danceIs it safe to danceS-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-ySafe, dance!We can dance if we want toWe've got all your life and mineAs long as we abuse it, never gonna lose itEverything'll work out rightI say, we can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't danceWell they're no friends of mine[Refrain]Is it safe to dance, oh is it safe to dance [6x]Is it safe to dance